I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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