The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
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he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
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Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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