he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
