cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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