Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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