well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
