I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
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you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
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Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.