I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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