Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
either way he was missing a nipple.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.