Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same