genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
