have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We got so high we made milksteak
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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