I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
