I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
