idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
