I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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