i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize