it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
