Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
