Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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