Have you finally orgasmed yet?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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