my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
