ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
