If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
