Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
