Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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