I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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