and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm always down for nudity.
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