but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
