my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
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I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
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Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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