So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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