Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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