if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
