I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So here I am, sexting at work.
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