If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
