Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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