he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize