In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
