yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Randomize
