I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
