he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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