I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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