just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
