just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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