well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
