Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
