this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
