You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
