So drunk its hurt
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize