He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
