he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
