I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
