how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize