Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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