About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
