its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
