we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
