And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
