I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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