he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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