what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize