I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
