im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
