so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
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Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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