I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
A bitchslap is in order.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
