No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
