and you said cock pushups were impossible
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
